Hi Everyone! Welcome April! I realize we are actually half way through. I did write a blog or thought I did earlier this month. I wrote it and thought I was publishing it here on my page but I apparently posted it to WordPress, well imagine that. I am not a technological genius, nor writer… yet. I am working on it. I did commit to writing a blog a month, so here it is.
This month with dealing with this global crisis I thought I would share recovery with you, it is not just for me, it is for everyone. I have used these steps in various areas of my life and I feel that recovery is helping me not to flip out during this crisis too, I understand how people can become depressed, feel isolated and alone, and lastly if one is discovering an addiction of many sort as they manifest in a variety of ways, maybe this could be helpful.
I have shared in my videos, you can find them under Stacey Reineck on YouTube that I did not know I was an addict when I was first introduced to recovery. I had gone to meetings for Adult Children of Alcoholics, even Al-Anon, but I really wanted to be able to use so it took me a while to get to the right room. I didn’t know I was Codependent till me therapist sent me there. I have worked the steps on my addiction, codependence, finance & romance, grief and just for alignment so I remember to keep my behind humble. So while I suck at technology, I know the steps. You see all those issues I listed above may make some addicts want to use, I chose to work them before rather than after, I am more or less hard-headed than anyone else. I do have a healthy fear of the damage I can cause when I am using so I will work the steps, they have worked for all these issues as I have been clean 22 years now, but they have always been the answer and are my tools.
This is my interpretation on how they can help you and are not to be affiliated with any specific program.
Today, we are applying them to the current crisis in this blog, so here goes;
1. We admitted we were powerless and that our lives had become unmanageable. We are definitely powerless in this and with all the uncertainty about when and if we will go back to jobs and etc… We have to surrender, we just don’t know.
2. We came to believe that a Power Greater Than Ourselves could restore us to sanity. We can drive ourselves crazy if we get into worry, fear, and predicting the outcomes, again we don’t know, so suggesting another Power is necessary. Remember even the politicians don’t know so don’t try to get all crazy about that, they are not the Power.
3. We made a decision to turn our will over to the care of God as we understood God. So we have surrendered we have realized because of this situation we are powerless, our lives are unmanageable, trying to figure it out has made us insane, and while we wish we could just blow this stuff away we cannot so we rely on whatever Power we can conceive greater than ourselves to take our fear away so we can live reassured and sane again.
4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Well if you have lost your job or are using this opportunity to pursue interests, you may need to make an inventory of what you can do better, how you would change things. Now in recovery that’s not what we are talking about, in recovery it is the wrongs done to us and those we have done to others that brought on guilt and shame, so if you want to tweak that in there, feel free.
5. We admitted to God, ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Are you getting to know yourself while in quarantine and finding out your own thoughts drive you mad now that there is no one to distract or project them on? It is suggested to admit these not to blame and shame people but only to a sponsor, therapist/life coach, clergy. The purpose of this though isn’t just to admit it, it is to change your behavior that is why the wrongs were recognized. This could be as simple as gossiping, while gossiping may seem small it can cause a lot of problems so that is not to be taken lightly.
6. We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. These are intentions. I will list some defects they spring from fears, there is a lot of fear that goes with uncertainty, maybe you are just not proud of the way you are treating those that love you and are not aware of what the defects are. They are basic human traits that have been distorted, like self-pity, self-importance, condemnation, controlling, manipulating, lying, impatience, jealousy and etc.
7. We humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings. This is the way that we behave and feel guilty for, the reaction you have when you feel the feelings of fear about one of the above situations, how you treat people. I have been told to do the opposite of what I would do out of fear, eventually we find a balance, will be a lot easier though and better guided of you pause and ask a Power Greater Than Yourself for guidance. Remember I said it was about changing our behavior.
8. We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Hopefully, some of you aren’t getting drunk calling or texting people telling them “what you really think,” that would definitely fall into this category. If you are being short with your family because of the possible financial strain is one where you may need to learn to communicate more clearly that you are stressed and regret hurting feelings and will look at that before snapping and really do it. It isn’t uncommon for people to transfer their anger and fear but it still isn’t nice and is harmful.
9. We made direct amends wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others. If this is deep, again if you have a program you need to talk to your sponsor, therapist/life coach, or clergy about this first, highly suggested!!! But some amends are “living amends” which mean we stop participating on the behavior that is harmful.
10. We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. What this means for us in recovery is that we do not want to go to sleep with pain and regret, we want peace. In this global time of stress it is looking at our own behaviors and doing better. If you have had harsh words with another it is good to work on a way that you can communicate better or at least go to sleep with a clear conscience meaning maybe someone has had harsh words with you, you don’t have to participate in verbal assaults. It doesn’t mean apologizing for something you didn’t do.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him. First off, it doesn’t have to be a him of you are not ok with that, that is what it says in the literature but this is your relationship with your Higher Power what or whoever you conceive it to be. I am into any specific religion myself, I like being eclectic, like I said it’s your relationship, it just needs to be bigger than you. I do rituals that are an expression of prayers that I want manifest for myself and others within Divine Order. Maybe it’s just connecting with your Soul, higher consciousness. We can find our calm, our happy, our peace through this, that is higher consciousness. Once we can do that we can manifest our desires.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps we tried to carry the message to addicts (people) and to practice these principles in all of our affairs. This means carrying the message of peace and serenity we get after working these steps, our experience, strength, and hope.
Steps one through three deal with getting our mind ready to do the task of seeing what we need to change within ourselves. Then steps four through nine require some decision making put into action of soul searching, maybe we buried our souls into being “human-doings” so we could have the appearance of looking like we had it all together and mistaking the programming of the culture to thinking that we did. We are busy doing the work of breaking down and rebuilding ourselves through the fear and pain. So that when we get to steps ten through twelve we have discovered our souls and are more than we thought we were. Through our new relationship with ourselves and our Higher Power we are unlimited and have found a serenity that had long been buried with our soul in the material world of culture and programming.
Please know that if you or someone you know has a problem with addiction of any sort there is help and hope please get online and find the appropriate group for you.
I hope this was helpful! Thanks for taking the time to read 🙂