I think in order to answer that we have to look at which perspective we are looking at; could it be the perfect life as in family, material wealth, physical health, lasting love, charming children, powerful careers, awesome educations??? The list can go on and on.
I am from America. It used to be said that the perfect life was a house with a white picket fence and a dog named spot. It then evolved to “Leave it to Beaver.” Also, one of my faves, “I love Lucy,’ but somewhere in between we went from “Brady Bunch” and “Partridge Family” to “The Simpson’s” and “The Bundy’s.” I don’t know where we are at now on all of this. I know these are all TV references but isn’t that where most of the ideas about “The Perfect Life” come from? The shows I listed you may have noticed are all comedies which are my personal favorite, they make me smile and make me happy, take the edge off. The truth is our lives are like that and we are the producers and we only have ourselves to list in the credits.
I have to wonder though where did the idea of a perfect life come in. The tragedies we deal with are not in those comedies are they? So when they happen people say that it should not have but if it did then what? Then there are some people who seem to be very successful on the outside but on the inside they are struggling. We see successful comedians who commit suicide, young people who die tragic deaths, all types of “shouldn’t have happened,” and if that is the case why did these things happen or why do they happen?
I think the answer to that is we don’t know, but what happens when it does happen is that we either evolve or slowly deteriorate and die ourselves. Holding on to old belief systems that we have no idea where they come from doesn’t serve us. We have always been meant to evolve, that is what all and everything is about. It’s all perfect and it’s not, it’s our attachment to perfection. If everything went perfectly we could then be called entitled and where would we learn gratitude. You see grief is loss on many different levels, without grief, would there be gratitude? Without love would there be fear? Most of us live our lives afraid of losing something and wanting to gain something … that perfect something.
There are two ways of looking at this and that lies where we spend our energy. We were all put here to evolve, some of us consider evolution to be healing. Some people just do not want to heal but yet we all have our right and perfect place. Those of us that recognize this need for our evolution would not be doing this and empowering ourselves were it not for those that were not aware or conscious. If we choose not to heal we label these people with names that are not at all flattering. If we realize though as painful as it may be that we chose this healing experience and take responsibility for it we can then empower ourselves.
Often times we create our stories from our lives as children and though some were tragic and certainly not the consciousness that we know today, we were intended to evolve from that as our parents did, or not. We don’t get to decide when another person evolves, that would be codependent. We cannot help what happened in our lives up until the time of 18 legally, but after 18 we are responsible for our own lives, the choices we make then on are ours, we can blame our parents if we want or we can heal. How many of you grow up saying “I want to be just like my parents?” I know there may be some, but my thought is the majority do not. The reason is we would not evolve or grow in gratitude and love.
“I learned a long time ago that some people would rather die than forgive. It’s a strange truth, but forgiveness is a painful and difficult process. It’s not something that happens overnight. It’s an evolution of the heart. ~Sue Monk Kidd
My Mom and a few others dear women to me shared this bumper sticker type post the other day on Facebook:
To my children, I’m sorry for all the unhealed parts of me that in turn hurt you. It was never a lack of love for you, only a lack of love for myself.
My response to that was,” I love you Mama! We all work together to evolve. No perfect parents or kids, but at the same time we all are, we are a mirror. We grow and evolve, with each other through lifetimes, learning more each time. We were handpicked sort of.”
I truly do believe that. It is crazy how we all evolve. It is most times that our parents try to protect us from the pains their parents caused them, go opposite, right? Only for our kids to be angry at us for how hard we tried not to be like our parents who tried not to be like their parents. It has to be all connected for our better good and higher development.
People create an illusion in their heads that there are people “out there” living this perfect life. Because of their own envy and need to evolve. I dare to say that we all have our own set of perfect problems. We are meant to overcome. If not we would not watch movies where people overcome, play games or watch sports where people overcome. The perfect life is just an illusion that people beat themselves up with. All spiritual paths tell us there will be suffering, they also mention paradise. We human beings are funny because on one hand we have those who settle and deem themselves a victim and never going to have their dreams come true and are even afraid to dream at all. Then there are those who dare to dream but never commit to put the action forth that is the practice for development to create the life of their dreams. Then there are those who do all of the above and do you know what they gain? They gain esteem for their perseverance after failures and confidence that they can overcome failure to succeed and decide that they love creating and continue to do so knowing that “life on life’s terms” involves challenges, pain and overall growth leading to evolution.
Let’s go back to that forgiveness issue mentioned a few paragraphs ago because sometimes the lack of forgiveness can block us or motivate us but we are still hurting and have not healed. I do believe that healing helps the past, present and future. Success is about what motivates us and we will get more of that. Nothing will ever be ENOUGH without forgiveness. Those things that we have not forgiven will always bring us pain from trying to protect ourselves because we will still be expending the energy to not be hurt instead extending the gratitude of what we have which is true success and the perfect life. It doesn’t mean that we become complacent as we are still creators, we just create with better intentions, health, love, and more with gratitude. Gratitude is expansion of awareness, we will constrict if we are fearful and unforgiving, hence the perfect life will always elude us or never be good enough.
So what is the “perfect life?” I think most of all it is feeling comfortable in our own skin, being real and authentic. I think it is to have people in our lives we can tell our innermost secrets and we know they have our backs. It is to be confident enough to explore and fail, and not become a victim but to be our own hero and get back up and try again and have people on our team to either cheer us on or pat our back and tell us we gave our best for what was or wasn’t meant for us. That we are people of character that when we win we don’t gloat and when we lose we don’t condemn. That we always continue to stay focused on those who believe in us and honor their love instead of becoming bitter of those few who don’t see our dream or value. It is to be able to laugh at ourselves and our absurd thoughts by sharing them with that special friend or friends without fearing judgement and gossip. The perfect life is knowing yourself, that is all, if you have all the above you probably have a good idea of who you are. All in all the love, when we love ourselves we give others the freedom to love themselves ~ Always, the bottom line is love, love is the “Perfect Life.”
P.S. as my Mama says,”If you have you have your health, you have wealth!” You can always get another job, partner, or opportunity. Valuable advice!
Thanks for your time reading!
I wish you much love and peace ~