There are quite a few stories on the difference between a reason or an excuse, being a coach we get both, especially in this day and time of confusion. The people I work with, by that I mean people that persevere and follow through are seekers and seek reasons for what they do or do not do. They have come to the belief that an excuse does not serve them, excuses wear out and people get sick and tired of being sick and tired, that’s not just a phrase it is indeed a reality. We do find that when making an excuse there is a justification in behavior and not typically a change so whether the excuse is stress or any other unhappiness of sorts the issue that we are making an excuse about does not become resolved so we continue till we can’t because of health, wealth, broken relationships, and many other things that bring pain, sadness, the continuation of self-will can destroy our dreams, goals and visions. some may want almost justifiably say that the pandemic has done that and while I am not saying it did not provide obstacles and pain, what I am saying is sitting in the pain for a prolonged period is an excuse. There is a valid reason why many are struggling mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually and yes financially due to the pandemic ~ me too!
A reason though gives a person the desire to persevere! A reason gives us the power to evolve, the strength to persevere, the curiosity to find solutions, the ambition to overcome these obstacles. There are times when we have all felt beat down and it’s necessary to have a good cry, feel the pain, release it and get up again and say “where do I go from here, what do I do now? Then instead of distract, look for the answers. We are so fortunate today with the internet, the answers truly are at our fingertips. Here comes the hard part though, getting over the fear of putting forth action. What I do is find stories of people who inspire me and then I see how their spirit sparked them into the kind of success that I myself would like to achieve. I realize that I have a spirit in me that has that desire to persevere too. I do not go back to “old tapes” of the “ain’t it awful and unjust,” I am not saying that there are not things that are awful and unjust, I am acknowledging the power in me to do what I can’t see… right now. I am a ripple of all those who have helped me, I glow with their love and magic incessantly because that is why they did what they did to help me. I too thought at one time that good things don’t happen for me like they happen for you, but that is just not true! You see, for me, the excuses restricted and constricted, the reasons esteemed and redeemed.
When I looked up on the internet the difference between a reason and an excuse this was the first thing that popped up : Reason implies that the fault is sincerely recognized and accepted… that you step up and take accountability for your actions. An excuse exists to blame or defend a fault… with the intent to absolve oneself of accountability.
The simple way to see if we ourselves are providing reason or excuse is to understand I think first that there is a perceived error of some sort and how we see that originates on our history of thought which stems from our childhood learning, did we learn to reason or excuse? Were we empowered or abused? Were we ignored or adored? All of these could be a reason or an excuse and it doesn’t matter which end of the spectrum we were on. The reality is that one implies maturity and the other immaturity. Immaturity is that of seeking another person to give us the validity that we did or did not receive in childhood. Maturity is knowing that when we are of age to do these things ourselves we seek to continue to live, love, learn and grow and that the stated childhood experiences were the past, being mature is being in the present and being accountable for how we think and feel, making our own choices and not letting choices of others make us.
Excuses are filled with pain whether acknowledged or not, reason are filled with passion and the love we have got. One is filled with paralyzing fear and insanity taking no action. The other is filled with purpose and satisfaction. The thought of the action needed to be taken of being hard is the insanity of staying paralyzed as things continue to worsen and seem more difficult to overcome, staying in a loop of continued self-sabotage of just waiting and thinking it will get better on it’s own. At some point we realize it is not, we have to rally up our will power and just take that leap of faith when we get sick and tired of being sick and tired, no more excuse for ourselves or anyone else, it just doesn’t serve us and the highest good of all. We often times hear of instances of waiting to take action when the circumstances are just right, we find ourselves waiting and waiting day and night, night and day and time just passes away. The good news is that we are never too old and it is never too late! Why would we wait?
Stay on the path, my heroes are characters and remind me that I will not do something once and that it will bring acclaimed success but it is the practice and development continually that will humbly bring in life’s reward and that is why life is called a journey or adventure… I had to learn to ask myself when I didn’t know what else to do and where to go to seek these answers and go with the flow and do what resonates with my soul so I could continue to grow … I mean really, I ask myself, “what else would I be doing?” We can choose to worry or seek, what will you be doing this week? Are you going to continue to have an excuse and give your power away or find a reason to take it back today?
Find a hero, get out of the funk, take those excuses and put them in a trunk. Let the past be gone, quit singing the same old song.
Claim your reason, pain to passion, chaos to clarity, fear to love, we are so much more than we ever thought of.
Thanks so much for reading! I really do appreciate your time, you and your time are valuable, don’t forget!